To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Hark! The Kings of Commerce Shout

a song reflecting (in the last verse) on the true meaning of Christmas

Hark! The Kings of Commerce shout.
Time to whip the wallets out.
Time for you to spend and spend,
Starting now 'till Christmas ends.
Time to charge what you don't need.
Time of selfishness and greed.
'Lectric games and DVDs,
Glitter, flash, and big fake trees!
Hark! The Kings of Commerce shout.
Things are what Christmas is about.

Starting out 'round Halloween,
Christmas lights begin to gleam.
Big displays, with gifts galore,
Fill every shelf in every store.
Buy it now, the cost's inflated,
and restraint is overrated.
Don't you dwell on those with less;
God helps those who help themselves.
Hark! The Kings of Commerce shout.
Things are what Christmas is about.

Stop! my friends, and think of those
Who have no home, no food, no clothes.
Have some fun and celebrate,
But give to those whose needs are great.
Give some love, a gift that lasts,
To those God places in your path.
Give of your time and money, too,
The gift of love comes back to you.
Hark! And listen with your heart,
Love is what Christmas is about!

JaneClare Joyner, Springfield, VA

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Hark The Hairball Ancient Sting

Refrain:
Husk the hardboiled chestnut skins,
Store-bought toothsome nougats cling!

Please do nurse a mirthy smile,
Get a scissors, wrap in style!
Joyful, all relations prize,
Try bad feelings to disguise;
Light your face and don't complain,
Hoist to health your best champagne!

Refrain
Haunt the malls, or go downtown,
Hunt those final presents down.

Hoist the best you can afford,
Heights of lights on icy cords.
Let the rug rats go and come,
Chubby as a pudding plum.
Rum has come from Tennessee,
Write an eggnog recipe.
Free cold duck and punch as well,
Gifts for all your personnel!

Refrain
Hop a ride on Santa's sleigh,
Worry not how much you weigh!

Hey, the heavily seasoned beast!
Hey, the sudden pies increase!
Lights in lines all jolly blink,
Rick gets hiccups as we sing!
Wild display of horrid pie,
Bought from some bewhiskered guy,
Pie with raisins underneath,
Crust too tough to try to eat.

Refrain:
Husk the hardboiled chestnut skins,
Store-bought toothsome nougats cling!

John Rezmerski, Eagle Lake, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Hark the tills as they ring,
glory to . . . shopping?!?!
Is this what it's all about?
Listen to them scream and shout.
Where's the joyous Christmas spirit?
Where's the cheer? C'mon, let's hear it!
Peace and love to all mankind.
You must seek before you find.
Peace and love to one and all.
You won't find them at the mall.

There's more to Christmas than a list,
So much more that does get missed.
Forget about the greed and such.
Be thankful that you have so much!
Thankful your family's safe and sound
And that friends are all around.

Gifts are nice but they can't be
in place of friends and family.
So take a break from the shopping cart,
And feel Christmas with your heart.

Jennifer Kapsner, Little Falls, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
We fish in this big ocean,
All wrapped in sealskin slickers,
We fish in this big ocean for some boney white fish.

Refrain:
Good cod we would bring to you and your kin,
Good cod for the lutefisk you say that you love.

Oh, bring on the fish,
Oh, bring on the mush,
Oh, bring on the fish and a big cup of glug.

Refrain

They won't go until they taste it,
They won't go until they taste it,
They won't go until they taste it, those very strange folks.

Refrain, followed by first verse

Claire Aronson, Minneapolis, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Hey! I hear the children shout
What's this season all about

Candy canes and presents, cool
Shopping trips and no more school

No I say, t'is not the rea-son
For this special Christmas sea-son

God sent us His son to love
A precious gift from up above

Yes! I hear the children shout
Now we know what love's about

He sent Him here as our own gift
He came to give our hearts a lift

To teach us how to love and share
Teach us how to truly care

Follow me, this was His plea
Then from death you will be free

For His lambs he sacrificed
He bled and died, and gave His life

Yes! I hear the children shout
Now we know what love's about

So each year we honor him
He who shed our lives of sin

We give our time and share our worth
With those needy here on earth

He taught us things we need to share
While He watches from up there

We have to share His story, true
He lived and died for me, and you

Yes! I hear the children shout
Now we know what loves about

Kimberly Lang, Farmington, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Stir the batter, fill the pie;
Christmas baking time is nigh!
Sift through family recipes
For the ones most sure to please.
Rosettes with a sugar dusting,
Russian teacakes have me lusting.
Peanut blossoms, fudge and spritz;
But no-o fruitcake, it's the pits.
Stir the batter, fill the pie;
Christmas baking time is nigh!

Mem'ries of mom's baking spur me
On to domesticity
Cookie makings all are bought
Strike now while the oven's hot
Work all week for forty hours,
Home to find I'm out of flour
Grab the keys and grab some funds
Hop in the car and back to Lunds
Stir the batter, fill the pie;
Christmas baking time is nigh!

Family crowded in the kitchen
Join to make a merry din.
"Wash those hands, you're spreading germs
Don't eat dough, or you'll get worms."
Kids underfoot lending help
Stomp the dog, who starts to yelp
Cookie making, I confess
Leads to excess togetherness
Stir the batter, fill the pie;
Christmas baking time is nigh!

Flour and smoke hang in the air
Dog is watching from a chair
This fiasco tops them all,
Scrape the pumpkin off the wall.
In this way, like many others
I accept I'm not my Mother,
Time to throw the dishtowel in,
Store-bought cookies aren't a sin.
Stir the batter, fill the pie;
Christmas baking time is nigh!

Julie Dickinson, Richfield, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Hark! The children plead for peace

Hark! The children plead for peace,
Comes their cry, "Let warfare cease!"
Voicing in their rising chorus
Dreams of life unfrayed by force.
May we hear these words now hurled
O'er a reeling warring world;
With resolve afresh we sing,
Now the dawn of peace we bring.

Hark! The children plead for peace,
Comes their cry, "Let warfare cease!"

Led by those whose future lies
In the hope that lives or dies
With the whims of those in power
T'is the time to seize the hour.
In this season of goodwill,
Childlike wisdom leads us still;
Now for justice let us toil,
Til its righteous waters roil.
Hark! The children plead for peace,
Comes their cry, "Let warfare cease!"

Days of holy festive mirth
Circle now an eager earth,
Strained by greed and scarred by war,
Squandered bounty now made poor.
Yet in winter's darkness lengthened
Comes a wish by children strengthened?
Not for toys or sugar plums
But the end of battle drums.

Hark! The children plead for peace,
Comes their cry, "Let warfare cease!"

Hark! The children's cries increase,
"Now the day of dawning peace!"

David R. Weiss, St. Paul, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
Packed in a plastic box,
I take out our Christmas socks,
Hang them from left to right,
And call it a night.

Refrain: A Christmas without a sock,
Is like a speedboat without a dock,
A cabin without a lake,
A birthday without a cake.

At night Santa will appear,
Christmas is oh so near,
The socks laden with some toys,
For good girls and boys.

Refrain

It's Santa I have no doubt,
It's what Christmas is all about,
We frolic in our delight,
As Santa appears that night.

Refrain

The bells jingle while I pack,
The socks back in Santa's sack,
The fireplace is clear and neat,
No signs of knitted feet.

Refrain

Marlye Riddel, Andover, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
We live here in Minnesota
Not to far from South Dakota
Not to far from North Dakota
In our own little world.

Our state bird's a bug
Called the Mosquito
It gives us West Nile
and Typhoid Fever!

Kate Tonn, Wood Lake, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
So much for the Minnesota Vikings
Brand new turf yet they're six and five...
The Gophers ended up at 9 and 3
Yet roses stay away from thee...

We've cheered the Wild into last place
The Timberwolves have started out in disgrace...

Stop the rambling and complaining
Stop the promises that never come true

Meet me at The Rainy River
Bring two lines, because they allow that too!
What you need is true ice-fishing
even if your fingers turn blue

There, you'll find some honest action
Try your best, you'll never know
We'll fish from Dawn t'il early evening
If the ice runs out we'll utilize snow

Whether it's perch, eelpout or walleye
the catch is always so enjoyed
And if these Minnesota teams keep losing
at least your fishing trip will keep you buoyed

Forget the rambling and the raving
turn off that satellite TV.
I'd rather meet you at your icehouse
Pass another ice pole and beer to me!

Brian Ruhl, St. Louis Park, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
"We Wish You Would Salt Your Sidewalk"

We wish you would salt your sidewalk;
We wish you would salt your sidewalk;
We wish you would salt your sidewalk and shovel your drive!

Refrain: Good slidings you bring to us and our kids;
But if you don't do something, we'll all have the skids!

Oh, bring us a pair of ice skates;
Oh, bring us a pair of ice skates;
Oh, bring us a pair of ice skates or we might take a dive!

Refrain

We won't go until it's safer;
We won't go until it's safer;
We won't go until it's safer, so keep us alive!.

Refrain

We wish you would salt your sidewalk;
We wish you would salt your sidewalk;
We wish you would salt your sidewalk and shovel your drive!

Gail Feldman, St. Louis Park, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
Please bring us some new maps
Please bring us some new maps
Please bring us some new with lots of farm fields

Good digitizing we do for farmers and the boss
too much digitizing, and we can't see anymore

Oh, bring us some magnifying glasses
Oh, bring us some magnifying glasses
Oh, bring us some magnifying glasses, and a cup of dark ale

We can't digitize till we see
We can't digitize till we see
We can't digitize till we see, so bring us more ale

Please bring us some new maps
Please bring us some new maps
Please bring us some new with lots of farm fields!

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

Krystal Leonhardt, Bemidji, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Grab your credit cards and cash
To the mall we'll make a dash.

Roam the aisles filled with clutter,
Expletives you soon will mutter.

Best Buy, Penny's, Target, Sears,
Spend, spend, spend rings in our ears.

'Tis the reason we forget,
While we add up massive debt.

Celebrate true Christmas Joy,
Remember please that Baby Boy!

Cathy Ameel, Duluth, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
Oh, winter break is here again, winter break is here again, winter break is here again; hear everyone cheer!
There's no homework for weeks, in gifts a kid peeks; no homework for weeks, Christmas break is such peace!
Oh, winter break is here again, winter break is here again, winter break is here again; hear everyone cheer!
Gifts wrapped up real nice, hidden from all but the mice, gifts wrapped up so nice, from Santa Claus of course!
Oh, winter break is here again, winter break is here again, winter break is here again; hear everyone cheer!
Yuletide parties and greetings, last minute shopping and meetings, Yuletide parties and greetings, oh what a friendly season!
Oh, winter break is here again, winter break is here again, winter break is here again; hear everyone cheer!
Snow, snow, and more snow, and winds as they blow, snow, snow, and more snow, Minnesota we're in!
Oh, winter break is here again, winter break is here again, winter break is here again; hear everyone cheer!

Lindsey Johansen, Tyler, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Yo! Hark, the heavenly angels sing!
Glory to Christ, the newborn King!
Peace on Earth and mercy to the mild,
Glory to our king, the newborn child!

Hear the heavens and angels sing,
Glory to Christ, the newborn King!
Peace on Earth and mercy to the mild,
Glory to our king, the newborn child!
Yo! Glory to our king, the newborn child!
Yo! Glory to our king, the newborn child!

Tricia Carter, Paynesville, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
"Heck!" said Harold, "What's this thing?"

"Heck!" said Harold, "What's this thing?
This sure costs some real ka-ching!
But the kids would jump with glee
Seeing this beside the tree!
Fifty-four inch rear projection
Multi-channel sound selection
With the big remote," he sang
"I control the whole she-bang!"
"Heck!" said Harold with delight
"I'd keep vigil through the night!"

"Harold," said his wife Lorraine
"Doncha think it's just insane?
To put out such cash to get
This humongous monster set?
We could go to Spain or France
Take up scuba, maybe dance
With that dough, we could just send
The kids away for each weekend!"
"Heck!" she said, "Sometimes I think
You should really see a shrink!"

"Honey, please," he thus did sing
"Peace on earth this Set shall bring
When the cousins come to dwell
TV, our Emmanuel!
Keep our watch by night and day
Technicolor holiday
Born that no man no more talks
Banish all the squeals and squawks"
"Heck," said Harold, "Doncha see??
TV's our nativity!"

Paul Strebe, Minneapolis, MN