To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
We mush with you on a dog sled
We mush with you on a dog sled
We mush with you on a dog sled
and run happily.

Good snowfall is loved
and cold weather too.
Good snowfall for pulling
Happy trails to you!

Oh bring out the winter clothing
Oh bring out the winter clothing
Oh bring out the winter clothing
and see our tails wag with glee.

We won't go until you say Hike
We won't go until you say Hike
We won't go until you say Hike
so shout it quickly!

Maria Kne, Bemidji, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
"Help!" the mother cries out loud.
"What am I to feed this crowd?
Eve's a vegan, Steve - no beef,
Kip eats poultry; such relief!
All low fat for Al and Barb.
As for Lance, must be low-carb!?
Jer wants cookies, bacon, too.
Mealtimes will be quite the zoo...!
I should leave it to the men ;
We'd all have cereal again. "

Les Jones, Duluth, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Hark, it's Harold Angel's son
"sloshed" again he thinks it's fun.

Santa's coming that's the news
and he says he'll bring the booze.

And we'll party all night long
as we sing this silly song.

Hoping it's not sacrilegious
because you know we're very prestigious

So MERRY CHRISTMAS one and all
don't drink and drive but have a ball.

Clarice Olson, New Hope, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Stitching stockings nice and neat,
Ornaments filled with a treat.
Hung on trees from year to year, Each one is a gift most dear.
Angels, snowmen, birds of song; Each one placed where it belongs.
So we gather round to sing, Praises to our Newborn King.
Christmastime is here again. Let us welcome it within.
Baking cookies, oh so sweet. Homemade ones just can't be beat.
Fill the house with wondrous smell;
Shaped into a star, a bell, Candy canes or Christmas trees.
Just one more, if you please.
Round the table, let us sing, Praises to our Newborn King.
Christmastime is here again, Let us welcome it within.

Cheryl Springer, Burnsville, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
We wish you would marry this one
We wish you would marry this one
We wish you would marry this one and drop your career

He's tidy, he sings to you and he's thin;
good and tidy and Christian and a head full of hair

Oh bring us our daughter's wedding
Oh bring us our daughter's wedding
Oh bring us our daughter's wedding and we'll buy the beer

Refrain

We won't go until we get a son
We won't go until we get a son
We won't go until we get a son, bring a son-in-law here

Refrain

We wish you would marry this one
We wish you would marry this one
We wish you would marry this one--or else that one there

Margaret McMahon, Rockville, MD

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
"Happens Every Christmas Eve"

Barked my knee upon the tree
It fell over, hitting Steve
He was startled, threw his drink
Shattered on the kitchen sink
Now the wife is screaming too
Claiming we've had too much booze
"Hey you boneheads, tone it down!"
"You'll wake the kids, and half the town!"

Happens every Christmas eve
When brother Steve brings family

Tried to wrap the gifts up tight
We're too loose to do it right
Maybe we could hit the bar
No way we can drive the car
Took our drinks to the garage
Worlds looking like a mirage
Maybe we should tone it down
Or lose our soul in my wife's frown

Happens every Christmas eve
When Brother Steve brings family

Woke up to the kids a-screamin?
Last night's just a big bad dream
Bells are ringing in my head
Steve looks like the living dead
Christmas comes but once a year
Never should have switched to beer
Had a good time, there's no doubt
Hope the wife won't kick me out

Happens every Christmas eve
When Brother Steve brings family

Robert Redding, LeSueur, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"

Hark! The dog is barking loudly
At the approach of UPS.
His fierce growls are truly fright'ning
I've never heard such a fuss.
Gifts arrive at our door daily,
Guests stop by with Christmas treats.
His barks ring out throughout the night,
Giving the cat quite a fright.
Silence, now and go to sleep
Snoring softly at my feet.


Where's that cookie I just set near,
I know I put it down right here.
There's a thief, I will discover
Who is taking all my treats.
What's that lurking in the corner
Munching on a sugarplum,
Darn cat! How dare you sneak my food,
Santa knows that you're not good.
No more kitty snacks for you, fat cat,
Don't even look at me like that.

Now the evening is upon us
As we settle by the fire.
Snow and candles, all is peaceful.
Warmth and quiet, our desire.
See the dog and cat together,
Sleeping soundly, aren't they sweet.
Praise this time of love and cheer,
Pass the eggnog, please my dear.
We love our pets, I don't mean maybe.
Now what do you think about a baby?

Vanessa Beardsley, St. Paul, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Mighty Savior, babe divine,
Humbly born, redeemer mine.
Joseph went to be enrolled,
As the prophets had foretold.
Mary labored in the hay,
Then gave birth that natal-day.
Ox and ass and turtledove,
Witnessed God's redeeming love.
Mighty Savior, babe divine,
Humbly born, redeemer mine.

Shepherds watching flocks by night,
Saw the angels' blinding light.
Came to tell the joyous news,
To the frightened hillside crews.
Wise men saw the star that shown,
Came to laud the child - God's Own!
Bringing gifts on bended knee,
To the child they came to see.
Mighty Savior, babe divine,
Humbly born, redeemer mine.

Praise to God who came to earth,
Sharing our same human birth.
God made flesh for all to see,
God fulfilled the prophecy.
Born not as a conquering king,
Born to save us from death's sting.
Praise to God, "Alleluia",
Rings the angel's orchestra.
Mighty Savior, babe divine,
Humbly born, redeemer mine.

Lorie Ludwig, St. Anthony, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
"Hark!" The retail angels sing, "Glory to the spending fling!"
Buy with plastic for each child
Bottom lines are reconciled
Joyful the retailers rise
Dollar signs in all their eyes
With Al Greenspan they proclaim:
"Spend spend spend, L.A. to Maine!"
"Hark!" The retail angels sing, "Glory to the spending fling!"

Hail the Mega Mall's increase
As each shopper it does fleece
Temporary joy it brings
As it foists on them more things
Wild the prices! "BUY! BUY! BUY!
'Til you drop. You'll never die"
With stuff we will fill the earth
Giving a false sense of worth
"Hark!" The retail angels sing, "Glory to the spending fling!"

Debt by Keynesians adored
Debt the everlasting lord
Late in time, the bills come due
And we'll then our spending rue
In windowed envelopes we'll see
How we'll end in bankruptcy
The car is seized, our house foreclosed
Paying interest through the nose
"Hark!" The retail angels sing, "Glory to the spending fling!"

So we'll not use plastic dough
In the trash the cards all go
We will make the gifts ourselves
And we'll play the Christmas elves
Leave the video games alone
We'll sing carols in our home
With the savings buy a tree
Happy that we are debt free
"Hark!" with no regrets we'll sing, "We didn't do the debt-crazed thing."

Wally Firesteel, Gary, SD

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Refrain: What's the harm in one more pinch?
Loosen my belt another inch!

Begin the Christmas jubilee
Thanksgiving a fresh memory
Survey all with widened eye
Tins of steaming pumpkin pie
Proclaim with infective cheer
Wassail to all gathered here!
Refrain

Potatoes, by all adored
Turkey carved on cutting board
Lutefisk takes a curs'ry glance
Fruitcake deserves a second chance
Sip a draught of winter brew
Take a nip of eggnog too
Once the party's fully fed
Give some thanks for the fine spread

Refrain

Thought I'd reached the coupe de grace
TUMS has cured dyspepsia!
Gluttony has caused me shame
Atherosclerosis in my veins
Plans of diet gone awry
Would hate to guess my BMI
No doubt I should slow my pace
But my belly still has space!

Refrain

Mitch Lewandowski, Chaska, MN

To the tune of: "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"
Haul the wood before it snows
Quickly now and don't be slow
Let the oak that's two years old
Guard against the arctic cold
For the bitter winds prepare
With an extra cord to spare
Heed each Santa's Ho Ho Ho
Soon it will be ten below
Haul the wood before it snows
Quickly now and don't be slow

Ed Dallas & Joan Prefontaine, Deerwood, MN

To the tune of: "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
"Christmas Day Rush"

Our family's not together
The presents are all scattered
Don't know what we'll do this year, 'cause Christmas is here

Refrain: Holidays snuck up, no time to prepare
We'll get through it again, just like past years

Pick up the papers for wrapping,
Heat up the oven for cooking,
Don't know what we'll be eating, but the gang's almost here

Refrain

The pizza is in the oven
The kids have put their nice clothes on
There's newspaper on the presents, the fridge is full of beer

Refrain

Now the family is arriving
The stress level is declining
The kids have stopped their whining, now there's time for some cheer!

Ann Peterson, River Falls, WI