To the tune of: "She'll be Comin' 'Round the Mountain"
There are words that singers never get to sing.
It's so sad that there are words we never sing,
Like obsequious, complacent, polymorphic and adjacent,
Lots of words that singers never get to sing.

It's not fair that there are words we never sing,
Lovely words that singers never get to sing.
Paramecium, combusting, vacuum-packed and self-adjusting,
Useful words that singers never get to sing.

Temper tantrum, diaper rash and static cling,
Presbyopic, pterodactyl, silly string,
Granulated and pernicious, infotainment and auspicious;
All are words that singers never get to sing.

It's upsetting there are words we never sing,
Scads of interesting words we never sing,
Rutabaga, quadraphonic, trepidation and bionic,
Many words that singers never get to sing.

Some last words that singers never get to sing.
Four more words that singers never get to sing,
Velveteen and hypodermic, wattlebird and endothermic,
Gee, if only these were words that we could sing!

Michelle Dettmann, St. Cloud, MN

To the tune of: "She'll be Comin' 'Round the Mountain"
It's a comin' around the corner once again,
It's the season of holiday givin',
And we're shoppin' and we're laughin'
And we're bakin' and we're wrappin,
And we're hopin' that we get it done by then.

We tell ourselves we'll get it done real soon,
And we shop all day until we see the moon,
We max out all our credit cards
To pay for gifts we searched so hard,
And hope that they will sing a pretty tune.

The calendar now says it's Christmas day,
And we pass out all our gifts and hope and pray,
That they all liked what we gave them
And if not, it's not a problem,
For next year it's gift certificates, hurray!

Kathy Wiestenberg, St. Paul, MN

To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
Oh, pumpkin pie! Oh, pecan pie!
How filling and caloric!
Oh, chocolate cake! Oh, breakfast bake!
How fatteningly tragic!
I once was slim in Summertime,
but now I'm lost in food sublime,
The treats are everywhere and I'm
much tempted by their magic!

Oh, cookies sweet! Oh, fudge complete!
It seems a shame to waste it!
Oh, crackers, cheese! Oh, roll-ups, please!
Can hardly wait to taste it!
I once had a trim waste line,
but now my middle's over-dined,
My tummy aches, and yet I pine
for turkey when I baste it!

Oh, taco chips! Oh, chocolate chips!
I snack on dough, pot-licker!
Oh, topping whips! Oh, veggie dips!
I'm eating more and quicker!
My toes are lost-- below the sight
of belly weight much over height,
Yes, Weight Watchers will know my plight,
I know I'm getting thicker!

Oh, high fat foods! Oh, Season's moods!
We have such great traditions!
More calories! More drama, please!
And each year more ambitions!
Our houses clean -- with much décor,
Our families loving, evermore,
Our children grateful, pleased for sure,
And charities' fine missions!

Oh, red and green commercial scene!
It's everywhere! With caroling!
Would I be mean to ask for lean
when I eat out while shopping?
Do you suppose that Auntie Grace
would get her nose bent out of place
or Grandma B would lose some face
if they tried lower fat on something?

Oh, what if I could give a try
to eat less food this season?
Still have some treats, but waaaay less eats -
Is this committing treason?
I'll still enjoy the season's joy,
but skip the fats that do annoy,
I'll miss the high caloric ploy --
My health is a good reason.

Susan K. Benjamin, Minneapolis, MN

To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Your radiant beauty bids me stop
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
I gaze with wonder at your top.
And search in vain for angel fair
With herald trumpet, golden hair
Instead I spy the family cat
I lunge to grab----too late----kerplat!

Marta Knick, Shakopee, MN

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