To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
O Mistletoe, O Mistletoe, fair herb of Aphrodite
O Mistletoe, O Mistletoe, I laud thy powers mighty,
When children nag and pester me,
I brandish you; they turn and flee,
O Mistletoe, O Mistletoe, accept my praise and piety.

Mike Supina, Eagan, MN

To the tune of: "She'll be Comin' 'Round the Mountain"
I saw Santa on the corner by the Mall,
by the Mall,
I saw Santa on the corner by the Mall,
by the Mall,
I saw Santa on the corner
Never saw him more forlorner
As he sat there on the corner by the Mall,
by the Mall.

And then Santa started cryin' at the Mall,
at the Mall,
And then Santa started cryin' at the Mall,
at the Mall,
I said, "Santa why you cryin'?"
He said, "Oh the time is flyin'
and I have no time for buyin" at the Mall,
at the Mall."

"My poor elves will have no presents
From the Mall, from the Mall,
My poor elves will have no presents
From the Mall, from the Mall.
They have worked so hard forever,
And I promised in December they would
All have a present from the Mall,
from the Mall."

So we all got together at the Mall,
at the Mall,
Santa's helpers all gathered at the Mall,
at the Mall,
And they closed the place an hour
Till we had a great big tower
Of the best toys in the world there at the Mall,
at the Mall.

(Last verse half time)
So that's what was happenin' at the Mall,
at the Mall,
That's what was happenin' at the Mall,
at the Mall,
When the folks who had the power
Kindly closed it one full hour
And let Santa do his shopping at the Mall,
Of America, of course!
(sung ala Good Evening Friends)

Jeffrey Hess, Richfield, MN

To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
We don't know where to put you.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
We don't know where to put you.

We'd love to raise you in our place,
If only our place had more space.
Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
We don't know where to put you.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
We bought a brand new hot tub.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
We have a brand new hot tub.

We had a small niche in the hall
Where once you shone o'er one and all.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
That niche is now a hot tub.

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You won't fit in our parlor.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You won't fit in our parlor.

The room where once your branches spread
Now boasts a fluffy futon bed.
So Christmas tree, you'll have to be
In someone else's parlor!

Tom Bachelder, St. Paul, MN

To the tune of: "She'll be Comin' 'Round the Mountain"
Pawlenty Comes
He'll be comin' as the mountin'
shortfall comes.
And the government is countin'
up its funds
We will say goodbye to Jesse.
Now the shingle says "Pawlenty".
He'll be comin', a devout
Republican.

All those highways to transport us
will get done
There's a chance that Phillip Morris
pays for some.
He no rise in tax endorses.
But the deficit's before us.
Billions climbin' six or more. It's
kind of glum.

He might seem like Ebenezer
when he comes.
We will all go out to plead he
save our jobs.
All the town and city leaders
See a local tax increase here,
Robbing Paul and paying Peter
when he comes.

Peter Torkelson, St. Paul, MN

To the tune of: "Deck the Halls"
Deck da church for our next me-al
Fa-la-la-la-al-la-la-la-la
Suppers here are quite a de-al
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Swedish meatballs, wiggly jell-o
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Make a pig of any fellow
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la...YA-YA!

Too much eating, lads and lasses
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Brings on belching, passing gasses
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Forks and knives and spoons we're using
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Finger food we're not refusing
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la- YA-YA!

One can see the waistlines growing
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Strain against the seams is showing
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Faithfulness to diets broken
Fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
"Uff da" is the phrase heard spoken....
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la...YA-YA!

Beth Larsen, Fargo, ND

To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
Why do you eat my tinsel?
O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
Why is it a tasty morsel?
I hang it out of reach,
But you seem to get most every piece!
O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
Why do you eat my tinsel?

O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
You put it in the mouth end,
O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
But I never see it going in!
Does it provide any nourishment?
Is it a cure for hairballosis?
O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
Why do you eat my tinsel?

O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
What is that at your rear end?
O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
It appears to be long and thin.
Shall I help it come out?
Do you have to strut about?
O cat of mine, O cat of mine,
Why do you eat my tinsel?

Cliff Johnson, Cold Spring, MN

To the tune of: "Deck the Halls"
Some have called this "festive folly"
Fa la la la la la la la la!
I must say I'm stressed, by golly,
Fa la la la la la la la la!

I haven't yet heard one gay carol,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
But still I feel over a barrel,
Fa la la la la la la la la!

See the check out rise before us,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Perfume peddlers they implore us,
Fa la la la la la la la la!

There's no such thing as Yuletide pleasure,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Nor is there shopping at one's leisure,
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Hate to be out with the masses,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Traffic slow as cold molasses,
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Lots of Christmas stuff to seek,
Fa la la la la la la la la!
Thanksgiving's in just two weeks,
Fa la la la la la la la la!

Michael Metzler, Blooming Prairie, MN

To the tune of: "Deck the Halls"
"It's Better to give then receive (If It's Fruitcake)"
Receive your fruit cakes thankfully
Fa la la la la la la la la
A pair of book ends they could be
Fa la la la la la la la la
Use them to weight the pick-up truck
Fa la la la la la la la la
They come in handy if you're stuck
Fa la la la la la la la la

They're really good for fire logs
Fa la la la la la la la la
And dried they make great bones for dogs
Fa la la la la la la la la
Use your cake for self-defense
Fa la la la la la la la la
Save them up and build a fence
Fa la la la la la la la la

Let your loaf of fruit cake harden
Fa la la la la la la la la
Make stepping stones out to your garden
Fa la la la la la la la la
Scatter crumbs along the way
Fa la la la la la la la la
The taste will keep the pests at bay.
Fa la la la la la la la la

When Grandma gives her cake to you
Fa la la la la la la la la
Please ask her to give a few
Fa la la la la la la la la
That lumpy loaf with fruity candy
Fa la la la la la la la la
Is known to come in very handy

Kimberle Linder, Minneapolis, MN

To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
O Senators, O Senators
Thine tax breaks are so crazy
O Senators, O Senators
Thine tax breaks are so crazy

You'll have it here by summertime,
They'll all buy S UVs at prime,
O Senators, O Senators
Thine tax breaks are so crazy

O Senators, O Senators
What is it you were thinking
O Senators, O Senators
What is it you've been drinking

For every tax break that you give
More people on the street will live
O Senators, O Senators
Thine tax breaks are so crazy

O Senators, O Senators
Your light could shine so brightly
O Senators, O Senators
If you would just act rightly

Forget election nights to come
Bring peace to all, not just to some
O Senators, O Senators
Thine tax breaks are not wanted

Christopher Kemp, St. Paul, MN

To the tune of: "Deck the Halls"
Trek the mall, by gosh, by golly,
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha.
'Tis no place for melancholy,
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha.
Don we now backpacks and tennies,
Ba ha ha, ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha.
Trolling Sears and J.C. Penney's,
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha.

See amazing electronics,
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha.
Books describing Wobegonics,
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha ha.
Follow me to Level B now,
Ba ha ha, ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha.
Where is my big SUV now?
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha.

Fast away to home I'm going,
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha.
Hailing, sleeting, raining, snowing,
Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha, ha.
Sing we bravely all together,
Ba ha ha, ha ha ha, ha, ha, ha.
Who fears Minnesota weather?
Ba ha ha ha ha, ha ha, ha, ha.

Barb Miller, Eagan, MN

Happy Merry Lyric Contest Home

Read submissions
Set 1 | Set 2 | Set 3 | Set 4 | Set 5 | Set 6
Set 7 | Set 8 | Set 9 | Set 10 | Set 11 | Set 12
Set 13 | Set 14 | Set 15