To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
O Christmas tree, more flaws I see
Each time that I conceal one.
I need a saw, it seems to me;
I'll borrow, beg or steal one.
More ornaments might do the trick.
I'd better run to Target quick.
Next year it's a synthetic tree,
Instead of a real one.

Carla Alcom, Golden Valley, MN

To the tune of: "Deck the Halls"
Deck the house with trees and tinsel,
Wreaths and balls and other ornaments.
'Tis the season to be frazzled,
Gee, these holidays can sure be tense.
Bake some pies and roll some lefse,
See how many cookies you can make.
Don't forget to shop for presents,
Wrap until your hands and fingers ache.

Soak the lutefisk in water
Buy a turkey and a great big ham.
Cook the fruit soup, make krumkake,
Try to sleep a little if you can.
Call your friends and folks long distance,
Pay excessive phone bills by next June.
Find your favorite hymns and carols,
Practice 'til you sing them all in tune.
Patronize the postal service,
Send a hundred cards with news and verse.
Give something to those who need it,
Hang up on all telemarketers.
Please be healthy safe and cheery,
Greet your cousins, friends and ma and pa.
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year,
Fa la la la la la la la la.

Elaine Gunderson, Argusville, ND

To the tune of: "Deck the Halls"
"Sick the dogs on random strangers
(Fourteen quite deranged chihua-hua-huas);
Watch them flee the yapping dangers:
Fourteen quite deranged chihua-hua-huas.
Loose we now our fiercest Shih-Tzu;
Dachsunds come waddling on sharpened claws,
'Til psychotic laughter hits you--
Fourteen quite deranged chihua-hua-huas."

Kevin Carnahan, Minneapolis, MN

To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
O Jesse V., O Jesse V., How stormy was your tenure!
O Jesse V., O Jesse V., Four years we will remember.
We wanted change so desperately,
We S.E.A.L.'d our fate electorally.
O Jesse V., O Jesse V., You challenged us politically!

O Jesse V., O Jesse V., You lowered registration fees.
O Jesse V., O Jesse V., It helped us drive our SUVs.
You closed the governor's mansion down
And children on their field trips frowned.
Oh Jesse V., O Jesse V., You stepped on toes unheedingly!

O Jesse V., O Jesse V., Some call you an anomaly.
O Jesse V., O Jesse V., At least you weren't a phony.
Your tax refund some thought unwise,
Until their "Jesse checks" arrived.
O Jesse V., O Jesse V., How many sent them back to thee?

O Jesse V., O Jesse V., Good luck with your celebrity.
O Jesse V., O Jesse V., Now politics seems empty.
They'll carry on, bicamerally,
With frightening unanimity.
'Cause Jesse V., O Jesse V., We're stuck with Tim Pawlenty!

Kim Fradgley, Farmington, MN

To the tune of: "Deck the Halls"
Deck the Halls like Martha Stewart
falalalalalalalala
Hire a full time staff to do it
falalalalalalalala
Sell your stock when friends give warning
falalalalalalalala
Shop at Kmart in the morning
falalalalalalalala

Amy Aarsvold, Little Canada, MN

To the tune of: "O Christmas Tree"
The peaceful snow, The gentle snow -
Our Christmas gift from heaven.
It sparkles through the darkest night
And brings to us the angels' light.
The peaceful snow, The gentle snow -
Our Christmas gift from heaven.

The twinkling snow, The silent snow
Makes Christmas Eve a blessing.
It covers crumbling autumn leaves;
It comforts ev'ry heart that grieves.
The twinkling snow, The silent snow
Makes Christmas Eve a blessing.

The falling snow, The floating snow:
It cleanses as it touches.
Just like the tiny baby boy,
Its innocence brings hope and joy.
The falling snow, The floating snow:
It cleanses as it touches.

The gentle snow, The sacred snow -
Its mystery surrounds us.
And in the dark and bitter cold,
Its silent kiss restores the soul.
This sacred snow, This gentle snow -
Its mystery surrounds us.

Henrik Strandskov, Minneapolis, MN

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