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My husband and I met at Ohio State University in the Fall of 1965. He was the line checker in the cafeteria on the Womens side of the cafeteria. I saw him every day but we didn't really get to know each other until I cut into line and the powers that be decided I needed to be punished by standing next to the line checker for several days. At the end of my sentence we went to dinner on a Friday night and talked for hours. We did that the next two nights and on the third day I told him I was sure he was "the one I wanted to marry" and if he wasn't interested then he better get out while the getting was good. He told me later that he thought it was funny that I would think this but he had the good sense not to laugh at me and we stayed together, got married and have been together for over 36 years. He is the love of my life and my soul mate. You sometimes need to take a chance and do what doesn't make any sense at all.
Linda Vokes, Duluth, MN
I was fairly recently divorced with two young children and eager to start dating again. I met "Tom" (the name has been changed to protect the guilty) at a friend's birthday party. Upon first meeting, Tom proceeded to criticize a remark I made during the party, and he and I had our first argument! I felt badly that I'd been so fiesty, so a few days later, I apologized to Tom (called our mutual friend to get his phone number.) He was delighted I'd called, and asked me to go out. We fell intensely in love very quickly. I was convinced he was the man of my dreams, because he could finish my sentences before I could, and always seem to know exactly what I was thinking or feeling. It was spooky but delightful. I was head over heals in love very quickly.
Unfortunately, the only time I was available for "quality time" with Tom was after my kids had gone to bed. He would arrive at my house at 9 pm and we'd stay awake talking and snuggling until 2 am night after night. Our talks and connections were always intense and full of deep meaning. He worked odd hours, so he got enough sleep, while I got up every morning at 5 or 6 to get my kids off to school. After several months of this, I was nearing physical exhuastion.
Occasionally, we'd have another fight, and break up for a few weeks.... then get drawn back together through our mutual friend or a chance encounter. I finally figured out that Tom was addicted to emotional intensity, and it was completely exhuasting me on every level. This went on for five months, before I found the courage to completely break off. It took months for me to regain my physical stamina just from sleep deprivation!!!! Another year of therapy, and I was recovered enough to start dating again! I heard a song a short time later by the Chenille Sisters with the phrase, "he's not the one you marry, but he's the love of your life!"
Polly Sonifer, Golden Valley, MN
I enjoyed the most perfect honeymoon with a man who remains The Love Of My Life -- a man who, now as then, is another woman's husband.
Our honeymoon was a full week in Seattle -- seven days of uncharacteristically glorious sunshine. We stayed in an adorable B&B on Mercer Island -- and, after the first morning, managed to successfully dodge our German hostess (whose cordial smile was the perfect cover for her unrelenting hospitality). In the evenings we went out -- to nice restaurants, a jazz club. During the day we walked endless miles hand in hand. And whenever -- morning, afternoon, night -- we indulged in the lovelinesses that lovers have been indulging in throughout time.
That blissful week was the first of many honeymoons we spent together, my lover and I. Mexico, Boston, Chicago, Minneapolis. Concerts and plays, hotels and airports. Always airports, where our farewell kisses tasted of tears and our greetings telegraphed our passion.
It's been more than two years since I last saw him. He left me for another woman -- his wife. Together they have raised a family, built careers, made a home. Together they healed their marriage of the damage done by our affair. They travel together now -- probably not a honeymoon every time, but family vacations that are emblematic of something real and lasting.
I never got what I wanted from him. I wanted the matter-of-fact discussions about life insurance and car repairs, the hurried good-morning kisses, the deliciously mundane security of falling asleep -- in my flannel PJs, not a silk nightgown -- next to a guy in tighty-whities. But he couldn't give that to me, because he had already given it to someone else.
So what did I end up with? Wonderful memories. A renewed heart after the deadening effects of a vicious divorce and a degrading marriage. The love I'll always have for him. An awareness of the pain I caused -- an awareness I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge at a time when I was intent only on assuaging my own pain. Finally, the certainty that I'll never again be The Other Woman.
Name Withheld
It was back in the early 80's and I was deeply in love with this woman, Caren, who I met in a Calligraphy class. She had blond hair (natural), a cute pug nose and beautiful big blue eyes. The kind a man can drown in. Anyway, we had been going out for about a month and I wanted to do something really special for her but didn't know what. Well one day, my Dad and I were in the city (New York that is), and drove by Carnegie Hall where we noticed a huge line at the box office. It then occurred to me that they were on line to get tickets to see Frank Sinatra in concert.
"Flash! Bam! Alakazam!" This was it, I'll get two tickets to see Old Blue Eyes for my Young Blue Eyes. Dinner and a surprise concert with "The Man, The Chairman of the Board." It was a perfect gift. So I ordered my Dad to park the car in some overpriced lot and then we proceeded to get on the end of the line. Tick Tock...Tick Tock...Tick Tock...Ten hours later, I finally had the tickets and just barely a talking relationship with my Dad, but at least I did it "My Way."
Well to make a short story longer, on the night of the concert, I told Karen I was taking her out to dinner and to see a "Friend" (wink, wink) at a local club perform.
After dinner, Italian if I remember, we walked a couple of blocks and when we were passing the entrance to Carnegie Hall, where it was packed with people, I stopped and handed Karen an envelope to open. She gave me that "What are you up to look" and then opened to find two tickets to the Sinatra concert. She was elated to say the least. It seemed I hit a homerun, "I'm Mister Success." Well Frank was in great form and we were having a great time, and I was sure I was headed to a fine romance with Karen. When we finally got back to her place and were sitting around talking about the evening, and holding hands, I expressed to her my feelings of love....silence...painful silence...deathly silence..."and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you." She said those five words that a guy in love hates to hear and for me, hears too often..."can't we just be friends."
I couldn't believe it, Frank failed me, 10 hours, $150 bucks and one broken heart.
"So make it one for my baby, and one more for the road."
That's my story and I'm unfortunately sticking to it,
Alan Frechtman
We both agreed when we met that it would take "time and trust" to build a relationship. He also confided in me that after being broken hearted in the past he still had a "few quills" left protecting his heart. So I called the Minnesota Zoo and asked if they had some porcupine quills. They told me yes, and sent them to me in the mail. I threaded them through a card and put them in an envelope that read "I hope these are the last of them." After 7 years it must have worked....he is the love of my life.
Carole MacLean, Crystal, MN
The story begins in the early 1960s when I was a lowly med student
Ensign in the Navy doing summer research at the submarine base in New
London, Conn. Myself and others were volunteers for deep divning studies
among other things. In the meantime across the river were summer
replacement nurses. I met one of them, a girl from Minnesota, who
eventually became my wife of almost 40 years. One night during our
courtship, I invited this lovely lady to go out with me and watch the submarine
races. She believed me and the rest my friends is history. sometimes, I
still wonder what she knew and when she knew. She certainly get a rise
out of my story every time I tell it.
V.F. Garry, Minneapolis, MN
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